HMTFWS: Wheelchairs

Cato and I went to a NYLaughs comedy in the park thing last Sunday. Eddie Brill said some cool stuff about our culture and how unhealthy it is. During his rant on soda being purely chemicals that can corrode car paint but we still drink he said, “Why's your kid on Ritalin? Because you give him processed sugar! You might as well give him crack. At least that has baking soda in it.”

If the government really wanted us to be healthy, they wouldn't be putting so much money into healthcare. They'd do things like making Meat and Bone Meal (that's what makes cows mad) illegal, and hand out free facemask for urban-dwellers instead of syringes.

So because I'm yapping about how much the present sucks, and because it's been a while, there's a brand new How Much The Future Will Suck! This one is for old people (which will be you when it becomes the future, so listen up!)

Mind Control Robot Army Is Now Real

~He's thinking: TRANSFAAATS!~
Recently some mad docs over in Japanland have made major process in creating a mind controlled wheelchair. Reproving that all Japanese scientists simply want to create gundams. In this case, the psycoframe (I'm sorry about the geocities link, but that site has SO MUCH information, I couldn't pass it up).

Right now, the thing takes 125 milliseconds to translate “BURROWED LURKER! TURN RIGHT!” into wheel movement. It works by sensing brain waves using an EEG, and watching cheek puffs. I don't know what a cheek puff is, but it makes the chair stop so it must be important and easy.

Meanwhile, Honda has brought their Asimo one step closer to being the icon of never-leave-your-room future. This time, you strap into a chair with a giant box attached to a bowl that goes on your head and you think really hard about your right hand, your left hand, feet, or tongue (wait... is this robot pron?), and after 20 seconds (Ya I know! You could have done yourself by that time!) the Asimo moves for you.

What's really interesting is that they call this huge chair monster a Brain Machine Interface, or BMI. So in the future, when people ask for your BMI, they won't be checking if you're fat. Because everyone will be obese. They'll be figuring out what operating system you use to control your robot army servants.

Watch as Japan gets closer to world domination by robot!