Global Wettening

~When did it become London?~
Today my girlfriend and I were going to see Jake And Amir but it got rained out. Rained out because of global warming. What the crap is that?

I used to get really excited about global warming because winter won't be cold and beaches will be everywhere. But no! It's just going to rain every single day forever.

If global warming is going to make it rain more, people need to stop being wimps about it. It's just water. It's not acid that we have to hide from. It's a free shower. With all the chemicals in the sky it probably functions as liquid soap, shampoo, conditioner, AND moisturizer! That's what the 21st century's all about – multi-useable free trade products.

The oceans will be less salty too because of ice caps melting. So you won't be able to use the excuse, “the water's too salty!” when your neighbor tries to get you to go surfing with him because he just wants to hang out and he's new here and doesn't know what fun things there are to do so you should just stop complaining all the time and do it!

All I'm trying to say is we should start calling it global wettening.