Transformers 2: Rise of the Ghettobot

~It's true. Lego and Hasbro have teemed up to bring you the most action packed toy commercial you will ever see.. until 2012~
It's been a really long time, so I'm gonna make this short and spoiler-free.

The main aspect of Transformers that got it popular was giant robots duking it out with each other. Metal fists breaking metal faces is amongst the top 10 most awesome things ever (3 of which still have yet to be discovered). Everyone knows that the failure of the first Transformers was the surprising lack of metal faces blowing up.

Revenge does it right.

Right from the start robots are driving around beating each other up so bad you can't tell who's Decepticon and Autobot. Prime redeems himself as badass leader (just watch him, don't listen. Actually, you could probably watch the whole movie muted and it'd be better). Actually, the movie should be listed as an Action-Comedy, and hopefully for number 3 they will drop the drama (less slow-motion heart throbbing music, more Stan Bush – Megan Fox's slo-mo bouncing boobs can stay though). The CGI budget went way up and it shows in fully 3D scenes of Transformer headquarters.

There was some weird stuff with Megatron being a lot smaller in this one, Starscream as more of a lackey than a backstabber, still too much human, Optimus can now transform into a gundam, Ironhide and this green guy are British?, why does the plot revolve around humans when there's a whole milky way of stars? But most of all, people seem to be pissed about the ghettobots.

Apparently we live in an age where robots can star as minstrel characters. Skids and Mudflap are Autobot twins who fight with each other, speak ebonics, and serve as the movies comic relief. Just because someone speaks ebonics, has a gold tooth, and can't read a dead language doesn't mean they're African American. Also, according to movie-law, if the twins were black, they should have died first. But it doesn't matter what I saw because people will always look for a racial character to iconify as their reason to bitch (no one says anything about the Egyptian midget security guard). Personally, I think the ghettobots were the most developed characters in the whole movie. No other characters make their goals clear, open up to the audience, or make sense like the ghettobots do. When they're scared, it makes sense, when they're ready to fight, you're ready to see them kick ass, when they grieve it's as personal as little Daniel crying on Prime's leg. None of the other characters have the kind of depth they did. Some transformers were introduced and ripped apart before they even got a line in (the sign of a great transformers movie. I have a feeling there will be more of this is #3). Plus, they combo-transformed into an ice cream truck. Best super power ever.

So give the duo a chance and enjoy the metallic mayhem.

PS- This movie made a big point about out-of-the-house run conspiracy theories with internet videos and blogs. What will that, eBay, and a third mystery hobby accumulate too? I don't know exactly, but I'm sure something with robot tentacles controlling our minds through the internet.